urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8 Inner Universe Toomy 2009-06-14T08:37:39Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:104193 2009-06-14T08:37:39Z 2009-06-14T08:37:39Z as messed up as things are<br />as messed up as things can be...<br /><br />this...<br />might just be the thing thats...<br /><br />&quot;out of the ordinary&quot; urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:104157 2009-05-14T05:56:11Z 2009-05-14T05:56:11Z *clink*<br />inhales<br />exhales...<br /><br />- - - - - -<br />Atonement. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:103686 2009-05-11T20:30:39Z 2009-05-11T21:49:28Z why is it that everything in me and around me is telling me to stop.<br />and yet i cant find myself able to do so<br /><br />even when whatever i throw at it. delievers me no results.<br /><strike>how did i grow to be so.......weak?</strike><br /><br />others probably cant see the value of it that i can see. <br />however...<br />'others' may even include <strong><em>you</em></strong><br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:103471 2009-05-07T19:46:22Z 2009-05-07T19:46:22Z and i still chose not to look at it the way<br />that everything seems to be showing me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:103407 2009-04-25T06:44:41Z 2009-04-25T06:44:41Z just stop.<br />Tboyz u know better.<br />just stop. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:101185 2008-04-18T04:32:18Z 2008-04-18T04:32:18Z maybe<br />just maybe...<br />this time is my turn<br />to reach for Him.<br /><br />maybe this is what i was waiting for. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:101067 2008-02-06T04:40:39Z 2008-02-06T04:40:39Z after so long. and after so many things have happend.<br /><br /><font size="3"><i>"...i just wish you could see how much I've changed..."</i></font><br /><br />and how hard i tried to be a better person. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:100310 2007-10-25T01:51:57Z 2007-10-25T01:51:57Z just cant feel it like i used to...<br />just cant believe in things like i used to...<br />bleh~ <br />lameeeee urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:100086 2007-09-30T07:17:13Z 2007-09-30T07:17:13Z One problem after the next.<br />when will it end... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:99234 2007-07-14T08:12:47Z 2007-07-14T08:16:03Z time does fly by....fast<br />things have changed alot...<br />yeah...<br />gotta stop being an idiot and leave u alone....?<br />that i thought was the right thing to do from the beginning...<br />no talking, no looking, and just focus on ignoring the existence of another person...<br /><br />guess i couldn't let go...<br />heh...my stupidity has sunk to a new low -_-<br /><br />o well...just hope things will pass....<br />Sorry lor =( urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:98959 2007-06-25T09:46:34Z 2007-06-25T09:46:34Z bah...<br />i hate saying sorry....<br />&gt;_&lt;<br /><br />but somethings...<br />i just wish could just fade away... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:98457 2007-06-04T21:19:07Z 2007-06-04T21:19:07Z No regrets<br />No remorse urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:98193 2007-05-25T08:49:30Z 2007-05-25T08:49:30Z it feels like its been so long...<br />have i forgotten it all?<br /><br />yeah...seems like ive lost touch with that side...<br />eh? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:97680 2007-05-13T08:02:08Z 2007-05-13T08:02:08Z <font size="5" face="Verdana"><font size="2">After all this...<br />just what am i fighting for?<br />all this time...<br />tell me...<br />just what am i fighting for?<b></b></font><b></b></font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:97441 2007-04-07T22:44:24Z 2007-04-07T22:44:24Z a friend of mine recently spoke with me on my current troubles...<br />it was a simple...and i guess realistic talk...<br />the one thing i found striking...that she said was...<br />not something oddly deep, or strangely philosophical...<br /><br />she stated one clear fact on it all...<br />i guess i forgot about it all along...<br /><br />"...shes just a kid..."<br /><br />eh? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:97127 2007-04-07T07:35:38Z 2007-04-07T07:35:38Z a person of two faces<br />a mask of two contrasting sides<br /><br />one sadistic<br />one harmless<br /><br />ever felt like your world is a war between your two sides?<br />makes the whole illustration of the devil and angel on your shoulders alot more....<br />real?<br /><br />...no different<br />or is it....you cannot expect anyone to be unselfish?<br />or in their trouble times....consider others?....as the sermon speaks for itself today....<br />how many are willing to do so? or how many try to understand?<br />what would <u><i>you </i></u>understand?<br />and what the fuck do you know about what rages in my mind?<br /><br /><div align="center"><i>when i look into your eyes, theres nothing their to see<br />nothing but my own mistakes, staring back at me<br />asking....why?</i></div> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:96466 2007-03-31T04:32:16Z 2007-04-01T21:34:48Z <p>Days have past...<br />Weeks have come...<br />and Months will soon come...<br />The result is the same as before...nonetheless i was never able to escape the fate i suffered from repeatedly...<br /><br />My heart rips at the cage it is placed upon...<br />it screams your name as you walk by....<br />it screams for you but the words just wont come out...<br /><br />knowing how things changed...<br />it screams even louder...<br />it tears at the cage its hend in...<br />desperately trying to reach out...<br /><br />however<br />silence, is the only constant....</p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:96122 2007-03-25T04:25:41Z 2007-03-25T04:25:41Z fuck...<br />this shit is ridiculous....<br />this is not suppose to happen... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:95807 2007-03-24T07:31:32Z 2007-03-24T07:31:32Z This feeling...<br />is so....distressing...<br />but i of all people know the results of looking back...<br /><br />things seem to be turning out pretty well as a matter of fact...<br />seems like things have settled and....the best has been done<br />but yet...i linger here....in thoughts<br />many times today i drifted off thinking of the past....<br /><br />but as much as i want to revisit it....<br />i know that it must not happen....or what cannot happen<br />regret seems to lurk over my shoulders....<br />but i alone know it is something i must bare with....<br /><br />dont look back....<br />no matter how much you miss it...<br />and no matter how much you want it back....<br /><br />fuk...this is so not planned for -_- urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:95568 2007-03-17T05:03:01Z 2007-03-17T05:03:01Z even to this time...my indecisiveness still lurks over my shoulders...<br />even now....i cannot face the things that have come to past...<br />perhaps this was for the better...and perhaps it is the only way to atone for the mistakes that i have made...<br />im sorry. for all the things that you had to feel...and im sorry for not being able...to complete the promise that i made...<br />right now....i dont know if it is spur of the moment...or perhaps something coming from my heart...<br />i truly feel that im missing something...a part of you...that is missing from me....<br />im not sure what it is....like in all things, im overly doubtful...<br />the past few days have changed alot...as i noticed that you are not the way you were before...<br />but this change to me....was not something comforting...however, deep in my heart i know that this is for the better...<br />and that this is something good for her....<br /><br />i guess this is my goodbye...<br />for i believe i dragged it on for too long<br />only hoping that time will change me....and that i will be able to retake the task i believe was mine<br />the future looms ahead of me....not knowing what will happen to the 'us' hinders me from taking action<br />the thoughts of "what if's" or "what could of's"...run through my mind constantly...<br />although this course of action may cause me pain....<br />im sure that the results nonetheless would serve her best<br /><br />im sorry my indecivness and selfishness caused you pain and tears...<br />...last but not least...<br />...again...<br /><br />sorry...<br /><br />_<br />Au revoir. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:95238 2007-02-18T03:02:08Z 2007-02-18T03:02:08Z Karenai Hana - Shimokawa Mikuni <pre><p><u><b>Karenai Hana - Shimokawa Mikuni (FMP ending theme)</b></u><br /></p><p>Kokoro ni, chiisana, hana ga, saiteru,<br />Kimi kara, moratta, karenai hana ga,<br />Shinjiru koto mo, kowagaranai kurai,<br />Tsuyoku nareta kara...</p><p>* Kimi ni aete, ureshikatta...<br /> Tsunaida te ga, hokoridatta,<br /> Ima wa, betsubetsu no sora, miagete itemo,<br /> Hora, arukeru...hitori demo...</p><p>Kanashii, toki hodo, warau, watashi o,<br />Nani mo, iwanai de, daite kureta ne,<br />Koori tsuita douaga, sotto hiraku you na,<br />Sonna, kigashita yo...</p><p>Kimi ni aete, ureshikatta...<br />Kodoku sae mo, wakachi aeta,<br />Ima mo, kono sora no shita, tsunagatte iru to,<br />Sou, omoeru...hanarete mo...</p><p>Arigato mo, ienakatta...<br />Yakusoku sae, dekinakatta, <br />Dakedo, ano hi to onaji, kaze ga fuitara,<br />Mata, kanarazu...aeru yo ne...</p><p>Repeat *</p>**translation**<br /></pre><p>A small flower is blooming inside my heart, The unwithering flower you gave to me, I was able to believe strongly enough in myself, So I'm not afraid anymore...</p><p>* I was happy meeting you, And proud of our holding hands, Even though we look up to different skies now, See? I can walk on my own now...</p><p>I laugh more during sad times, To hide the pain I feel inside, But you hugged me gently without saying a thing I felt as if it were like opening a door frozen in ice...</p><p>I was happy meeting you, Even though I could only share my lonliness, Even though we're separated now, I still feel that we're somehow connected under this sky...</p><p>I didn't say thank you... I couldn't even promise... However, like on that day, if the wind blows Then I know we will surely meet again...</p><p>Repeat *</p><pre>&nbsp;</pre> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:94587 2007-01-18T17:47:33Z 2007-01-18T17:47:33Z sometimes...<br />making the best decision...<br />requires you to deny yourself the right to be happy...<br />but for the best....<br />i know this must be done.....<br />i know this decision must be made...<br />for the most evident result of it...seems inevitable...<br />to avoid....the possible havoc it might cause....<br />this must be done....<br />sigh** urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:94291 2007-01-16T13:50:12Z 2007-01-16T14:18:32Z for the better of both?<br />...at the current moment...i feel something...<br />im not sure what it is...nor do i understand it....<br />no point thinking back now?? <br />....no turning back??<br /><br />if it needs to be done...then i guess....<br />it needs to be done... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:93052 2006-11-27T08:08:08Z 2006-11-27T08:08:08Z sigh**...<br />and i thought things couldnt get any worse...<br />so discouraging... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:eternity8:92852 2006-11-26T07:58:37Z 2006-11-26T07:58:37Z sigh*<br />yet another setback...<br />are You telling me to give up?<br />sigh*...<br />tell me...what am i to do?<br />&gt;_